House of James - the ultimate book destination?

I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to primarily be a Christian author. For a few reasons. One there is a certain stigma that comes with being a Christian author, that your book is going to be crammed full of Bible verses and the character always being a 'perfect little Christian'. I don't want my books to be about that. Then I find a large portion of Christian authors don't write as well as they could (amazing Christian authors like Ted Dekker, and Frank Perretti excluded). A friend of mine blows it off by saying 'well who is it for the glory of?' For God I know. But sometimes I think God is sitting up in heaven hitting the heal of His hand to His forehead going 'Children I have given you this special talent. Use it well. To the best of your ability. Don't write half heartedly.' For me I'd rather read a well written story that isn't by a Christian author, then a not so well written predictable Bible-verse crammed, easy allusions to Bible story packed books that are written by Christians 'for the glory of God'. I don't see why a book is so much better because it is in the House of James (or any other Christian book store) then it is at Coles, or Chapters, or Borders, or any other secular book store. I want to write books that Christians AND non-Christians will love. That can be sold in Christian books stores, AND Coles. I don't always want to have a Christian MC (main character) who goes to church and reads her Bible and prays when she wakes up before each meal and before bed. I'm not saying I'm never going to have Christian MC's, but I don't want all of them to be. I want real characters and not all real people are Christians.

See I want to write books that do glorify God, but not by being a half hearted attempt to copy the Bible (although I do have a story idea from one of the parables that Jesus told). I don't want to just write books for the Christians who already know God. I want to write books for the non-Christians who I can subtly point the direction to the path that will lead them to God. I want to write books that celebrate how different people are (although I don't think I'll have a Muslim or Sikh MC. Only Christian, Atheist, and Agnostic MC's). I want to write books that don't always make Christians look like the good guys (because we aren't always good people) but at the same time I don't want to slander them. I want to write books that reach out to people of all kinds, that they can get anywhere, not having to go to a Christian book store to do so.

I want to be an author who is a Christian, not a Christian author.

That being said I will have stories of girls (as I know nothing of how guys think I don't think I ever could have a male MC) who are Christians, and rely on God for everything. But the things that happen to them won't happen because they are Christians, they happen because they are human. But they get through it by being Christians, and relying on God.

I want to write clean books that don't have sex scenes, and swearing (although some non-christian character might get the 'a string of profanities left their mouth' line that so subtly hints at swearing), but at the same time I want to characters and situations to seam real.

I've caught meself in a delima me thinks.

Aurum.

Quick update

So I said in the last post that I put in an application at McDonald's and that my interview was this morning. Well I went to it, and I GOT THE JOB! I'm happy.

Church was a little different today today, a lot of people had sour or depressed looks (from what I could see), and the lights had been dimmed a lot. Wired. Anyway, I'm dead tired. Heat tends to do that to a person I think, makes them tired. So anyway, I'm going to bed.

Night.

Aurum.

Anything new?

Hey people. Apparently I haven't updated in a while, and I should. Problem being nothing fascinating or interesting has happened. My cousin is about to pop, I've been out of school for two weeks now, and took my one and only exam (German. The only two things I remembered without a doubt were dative preps because of a song, and reflexive pronouns. But I think I did good on it).

The job hunting isn't going so hot. Of the five places I applied for (Blockbuster, Value Village, Garden Fresh, House of James, and Starbucks) I got no calls back. Although I dropped off an application and resume at McDonald's today (my aunt's idea) and I have my first interview tomorrow morning at 9:45, which means I'm going to be late for church. Blame this on being out of school. I totally forgot today was Saturday, so I agreed to the time and didn't realize until after I left that there was church the next day. So I'm going to be late, but I'll still go.

Other then that, there is nothing really to tell. I got a new bathing suit. My old one had this ugly 'v' neck that dipped down WAY to low. I didn't like it, but I lost my one piece a couple years ago and every time I thought that I needed a new one no one had the money for it. Finally I got a new one. There is still a 'v' neck because at Wal-Mart there is no such thing as modest AND pretty. There's modest and frumpy, or pretty and not as modest. I think the one I got is good though. It's a two piece, the bottom is attached to a skirt (and it's length would allow me to wear it to school, but I won't too short for school for me). The 'v' neck doesn't go too deep, but it's also a halter top. It even has fabric under it for around the stomach, which I like because then it doesn't look like I'm swimming in a bra (a problem I have with bathing suits). When I tried it on at home I looked at it in the mirror I realized that it looked like something some women would wear for a night out on the town. I'll stick to it being a bathing suit. Oh, and it's black and red. Black background with a pretty red design.

Other then that there really is nothing. I started a story called Assassin's Daughter, but I haven't quite figured out how to get my main character right. So then I started a story on the side called Dreamwatcher. The first scene won't get on paper the way I saw wrote it in my head. It's not going so hot either. Sometimes I think writing is the hardest and most pointless thing ever, and yet I keep writing, it keeps me sane and I'm told I'm actually good at it (I have yet to agree. My writing isn't that great).

Well I guess I really still have nothing to talk about. I'm listening to Extreme Praise, and typing this. I'll probably get off and read while listening to the radio (same station just on my alarm clock instead of the computer).

Well night people. Talk to ya later.

Aurum.

So much fun!

Alright, quick recap, I no longer feel the need to hug this person who doesn't even exist. There is six (technically seven, but the last day doesn't really count) school days of school left before summer. And I plan to apply at Blockbuster for a summer and grade 12 job. I'm still reading through Jeremiah, and I have found a fondness for two Veggie Tales songs (Yo Ho Hero by Newsboys, and Pirates Who Don't Do Anything by Relient K).

Now tonight was the year end dance show for my dance studio. I had one Jazz dance (done to Black Horse and a Cherry Tree) and one Ballet dance (Skaters Waltz). Both of them had to have my hair slicked back. So before I left (I started getting ready at two) I put my hair into a ponytail (for Jazz) glomped on the gel to make sure that it was slick, and then loaded on the hairspray to make sure that nothing came loose. Then I put on this dark liquid foundation that darkened me face, layered on the blush, lipstick, eyeshadow, and eyeliner, and over did the mascara, so I did look like a clown. I had to sow a hole up in my ballet tights (and then they got a big run in them, which thankfully was covered by the ballet costume). After the Jazz dance we all quickly got changed into our ballet costume (we -the other girls in my class and I- didn't think it would take as long as it did) and I put MORE gel into my ponytail, and then a friend of mine twisted it into a bun for me, and loaded on more of the hairspray. Add this to the fact that earlier the owner of the studio came around and put sparkling hair spray on everyone. My hair made crinkling sounds when I took it out.

But by far the best part was the finally. I thought we'd go on, curtsy (with the whole studio) the owner would give out her thanks to the teachers and the dancers, and we'd leave. No, of course not. We were all lined up (for some reason they put ALL the teen dancers in the front of the line) and then we did the 'train' on stage, off stage, on through the next wing, off again, on through the next wing and stop so that their was three lines. Then the reason why they put the teens up front in front of all the little kids was made obvious, they dropped balloons onto the little ones, and had a couple girls come running in with silly string spraying it into the the crowd of dancers, which hit only the people in the front row (the teens) so it didn't scare the little kids. And then, THEN they put on the macarena, so all the teens and some other older classes did the macarena, and then the CHICKEN DANCE. It was so much fun.

Anyway, I'm dead tired, but I had to report this.

Type to ya later.

Aurum.

Unforgetable dreams

Hehe, oops. I haven't updated (almost) at all this month. I keep meaning too, and then I forget. Sorry. :s

Anyway... This month I've done basically nothing. When to school, went to youth, went to church, went to dance. We had our dance recital dress rehearsal a couple days ago. One of my dance teachers/owner of the studio wasn't there because she was having her baby (I don't know what it is though).

Oh I found out teachers somethings really have to watch what they say. Especially at a Christian school. Today during devotions our teacher was asking this question, and it was a good question to think about (why do we and how do we tell non-Christians they need to be Christians). But as she was talking she had mentioned something about how she doesn't know for certain whether or not God is 100% real or not. She says from what she's read in science that it seams that there is an inelegant designer and that we didn't rise up from slime, but she says we have no 100% proof that our God is the true God. And that truly through me off balance, because I rely a lot on what other people believe. (Not that I believe what I believe because other people believe it, but more of who are older then believe in something, and especially if they are good role models I try to follow them in some things). So this is why I think teachers (and people in general) have to be careful what they say around people.

Tonight has been interesting. I spent the evening and until 9:30 with my friends. We ended up playing pool, Wariowar (or something like that. It's a Wii game), Mario Cart (on Wii) and Smash Bros (again on Wii). It was a fun night.

And now onto the topic of which this post is titled after. A dream I had last night. And it wasn't one of those dreams that you sort of forget. It also wasn't a dream that when awake I could have mistaken to be real. (And I mean wide awake, not the half awake state you are when you just wake up). And most of this dream I have forgotten except for one little part of the dream, and it is annoying me. Because I am hugging this guy, who in my dream I am in love with. But he's training for something, or something along those lines, (basically he's under someone else's control. He has to do what they tell him to), but his teacher, master, whatever has given him, allotted him, whatever two minutes. And he is promising he will either find a way out, or find a way for me to get in so that we can be together. And then I woke up (there was a lot more before this part but I can't remember it). And the thing that is driving me over the edge is that whenever I start thinking of this dream (and it pops into my head frequently) my arms feel empty (like I should be hugging something) and my heart feels like its breaking, which is stupid because ITS JUST A DREAM! And heck, I don't even know the dudes name (but more importantly, its just a dream!)

Oh, and the dream took place in a crowded room with grey chairs (sort of like the chairs at my church, office waiting chairs without arm rests). And I was sitting in one isle, and he was sitting in the other, and then we were suddenly behind the sections of seats I was sitting in hugging. But it is a really annoying thing to keep remembering it, and feeling like I still should be hugging him. Grrrrr.

Well anyway it's sorta late, and I'm sorta really really really really really really tired. So ya. Night!

Aurum.

Ups downs and hangnails.

Ello wonderful people out there. I haven't updated in a while, so I'm popping in a post. So lets see, since I last posted I've finished the school play (it was a blast, I did nothing, but sit there and watch the play every night!), I've started and finished a gingerbread house for foods class (and hated it and loved it at different times), went swimming, started some new thing in my math class, and did absolutely nothing. Yes I have no life.

On the bright side its my dads 42nd birthday today. I got him a wallet as his old one was falling apart. He got himself Guitar Hero. It's actually quite fun.

And boy do I get side tracked easily. I start out writing this out, and I end up on Facebook sending a message to someone that I haven't talked to in years, and it took ten minutes to write out one sentence. I let my mind wander to much. And I ramble on to much. I guess its just cause I don't want to type out what I actually want to type out. There's just something about putting down what your thinking that makes it real, and then posting it for anyone to see. I know most people probably don't know me, its just those that actually know me that I'm worried about.

(Distracted again)

Maybe I just won't type it out. Thoughts are supposed to be private right? Besides who knows who reads these besides the two wonderful people who post comments. I don't really need to have the whole world inside my upside down and twisted mind.

I wonder how many people are brimming with curiosity of what I'm talking about now? Ohs well *shrugs*.

I'm writing a book series right now. Its a little different then my normal stories. (If you can call them normal). There's no mythical creatures, no demons, no scary bogymen. Just a girl, and a mirror, and the two people she meets on the other side of the mirror. Its different, for me anyway. Its probably a lot like other books out there though.

Alright, enough with the pity party. I'll come back and post later, hopefully with a post that makes more sense then this jumble that I've posted.

Nighty-night wonderful people.

Aurum.

Hmmmmmm

I'm bored. Stuck in math class with nothing to do. Done my work, have nothing to catch up on, and no way I can sleep. Not that any of that really matters.

Last night was the preview performance of the school play 'The Curious Savage' tonight is the offical opening night. Last night was fun. It went down with only a few mishaps. A phone for example. In one scene the phone rings, Dr. Emmett rushes to get it and he answerd 'Hello... (bla bla bla)' and the phone rang again, while he was holding it. It's moments like that that I absolutly LOVE being backstage, because you can laugh and not get in trouble for breaking character. I have no character to break. We also have our own little version of Ponoccio in our play. It's one of the characters son John Tomas is a doll throught the whole play, but at the end when you get to see the characters as how they see themselves and their lives, he's a real boy! So backstage had lots of jokes about Ponoccio, and because the doll is creepy people would make fun of it as well. The boy playing the live John Tomas is quite cute (for a little 8 year old playing a 5 year old).

So why am I filling this blog with pointless rambles about nothing important? I don't know. I felt like it. I tend to fill in silences and blanks with pointless rambles. I annoy the heck out of people doing it too. I just can't help it, I don't think about it, the bluttering just come out without my thinking about it.

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Oh chaple yesterday was intriging. It was an hour long! Normally that would be cause for groaning and complaining. But it wasn't. The speaker was really good. He was talking about a whole bunch of things, and I won't try to copy it. But he spoke about us being salt and light (it's like GC all over again), and how we don't yell at meat going bad, so we can't blame society for going wrong when we are doing nothing to perserve it.

He was also talking about self harm and such. Apparently 1 in 6 teens have a problem with self harm, depression, sucied and such. I hang out in a group of six girls so that could be one of us. As well he said that by the time were his age (he's 36) 1 in 3 girls will have been assulted. That's another possible two in our group. Now assuming that the one with problems of self harm is not one of the two who are assulted that's 50% of my group! That struck all of us hard.

Well the bell is going to ring soon. LUNCH!!!!!

Type to ya later.

Aurum.