Quick update

So I said in the last post that I put in an application at McDonald's and that my interview was this morning. Well I went to it, and I GOT THE JOB! I'm happy.

Church was a little different today today, a lot of people had sour or depressed looks (from what I could see), and the lights had been dimmed a lot. Wired. Anyway, I'm dead tired. Heat tends to do that to a person I think, makes them tired. So anyway, I'm going to bed.

Night.

Aurum.

Anything new?

Hey people. Apparently I haven't updated in a while, and I should. Problem being nothing fascinating or interesting has happened. My cousin is about to pop, I've been out of school for two weeks now, and took my one and only exam (German. The only two things I remembered without a doubt were dative preps because of a song, and reflexive pronouns. But I think I did good on it).

The job hunting isn't going so hot. Of the five places I applied for (Blockbuster, Value Village, Garden Fresh, House of James, and Starbucks) I got no calls back. Although I dropped off an application and resume at McDonald's today (my aunt's idea) and I have my first interview tomorrow morning at 9:45, which means I'm going to be late for church. Blame this on being out of school. I totally forgot today was Saturday, so I agreed to the time and didn't realize until after I left that there was church the next day. So I'm going to be late, but I'll still go.

Other then that, there is nothing really to tell. I got a new bathing suit. My old one had this ugly 'v' neck that dipped down WAY to low. I didn't like it, but I lost my one piece a couple years ago and every time I thought that I needed a new one no one had the money for it. Finally I got a new one. There is still a 'v' neck because at Wal-Mart there is no such thing as modest AND pretty. There's modest and frumpy, or pretty and not as modest. I think the one I got is good though. It's a two piece, the bottom is attached to a skirt (and it's length would allow me to wear it to school, but I won't too short for school for me). The 'v' neck doesn't go too deep, but it's also a halter top. It even has fabric under it for around the stomach, which I like because then it doesn't look like I'm swimming in a bra (a problem I have with bathing suits). When I tried it on at home I looked at it in the mirror I realized that it looked like something some women would wear for a night out on the town. I'll stick to it being a bathing suit. Oh, and it's black and red. Black background with a pretty red design.

Other then that there really is nothing. I started a story called Assassin's Daughter, but I haven't quite figured out how to get my main character right. So then I started a story on the side called Dreamwatcher. The first scene won't get on paper the way I saw wrote it in my head. It's not going so hot either. Sometimes I think writing is the hardest and most pointless thing ever, and yet I keep writing, it keeps me sane and I'm told I'm actually good at it (I have yet to agree. My writing isn't that great).

Well I guess I really still have nothing to talk about. I'm listening to Extreme Praise, and typing this. I'll probably get off and read while listening to the radio (same station just on my alarm clock instead of the computer).

Well night people. Talk to ya later.

Aurum.

So much fun!

Alright, quick recap, I no longer feel the need to hug this person who doesn't even exist. There is six (technically seven, but the last day doesn't really count) school days of school left before summer. And I plan to apply at Blockbuster for a summer and grade 12 job. I'm still reading through Jeremiah, and I have found a fondness for two Veggie Tales songs (Yo Ho Hero by Newsboys, and Pirates Who Don't Do Anything by Relient K).

Now tonight was the year end dance show for my dance studio. I had one Jazz dance (done to Black Horse and a Cherry Tree) and one Ballet dance (Skaters Waltz). Both of them had to have my hair slicked back. So before I left (I started getting ready at two) I put my hair into a ponytail (for Jazz) glomped on the gel to make sure that it was slick, and then loaded on the hairspray to make sure that nothing came loose. Then I put on this dark liquid foundation that darkened me face, layered on the blush, lipstick, eyeshadow, and eyeliner, and over did the mascara, so I did look like a clown. I had to sow a hole up in my ballet tights (and then they got a big run in them, which thankfully was covered by the ballet costume). After the Jazz dance we all quickly got changed into our ballet costume (we -the other girls in my class and I- didn't think it would take as long as it did) and I put MORE gel into my ponytail, and then a friend of mine twisted it into a bun for me, and loaded on more of the hairspray. Add this to the fact that earlier the owner of the studio came around and put sparkling hair spray on everyone. My hair made crinkling sounds when I took it out.

But by far the best part was the finally. I thought we'd go on, curtsy (with the whole studio) the owner would give out her thanks to the teachers and the dancers, and we'd leave. No, of course not. We were all lined up (for some reason they put ALL the teen dancers in the front of the line) and then we did the 'train' on stage, off stage, on through the next wing, off again, on through the next wing and stop so that their was three lines. Then the reason why they put the teens up front in front of all the little kids was made obvious, they dropped balloons onto the little ones, and had a couple girls come running in with silly string spraying it into the the crowd of dancers, which hit only the people in the front row (the teens) so it didn't scare the little kids. And then, THEN they put on the macarena, so all the teens and some other older classes did the macarena, and then the CHICKEN DANCE. It was so much fun.

Anyway, I'm dead tired, but I had to report this.

Type to ya later.

Aurum.

Unforgetable dreams

Hehe, oops. I haven't updated (almost) at all this month. I keep meaning too, and then I forget. Sorry. :s

Anyway... This month I've done basically nothing. When to school, went to youth, went to church, went to dance. We had our dance recital dress rehearsal a couple days ago. One of my dance teachers/owner of the studio wasn't there because she was having her baby (I don't know what it is though).

Oh I found out teachers somethings really have to watch what they say. Especially at a Christian school. Today during devotions our teacher was asking this question, and it was a good question to think about (why do we and how do we tell non-Christians they need to be Christians). But as she was talking she had mentioned something about how she doesn't know for certain whether or not God is 100% real or not. She says from what she's read in science that it seams that there is an inelegant designer and that we didn't rise up from slime, but she says we have no 100% proof that our God is the true God. And that truly through me off balance, because I rely a lot on what other people believe. (Not that I believe what I believe because other people believe it, but more of who are older then believe in something, and especially if they are good role models I try to follow them in some things). So this is why I think teachers (and people in general) have to be careful what they say around people.

Tonight has been interesting. I spent the evening and until 9:30 with my friends. We ended up playing pool, Wariowar (or something like that. It's a Wii game), Mario Cart (on Wii) and Smash Bros (again on Wii). It was a fun night.

And now onto the topic of which this post is titled after. A dream I had last night. And it wasn't one of those dreams that you sort of forget. It also wasn't a dream that when awake I could have mistaken to be real. (And I mean wide awake, not the half awake state you are when you just wake up). And most of this dream I have forgotten except for one little part of the dream, and it is annoying me. Because I am hugging this guy, who in my dream I am in love with. But he's training for something, or something along those lines, (basically he's under someone else's control. He has to do what they tell him to), but his teacher, master, whatever has given him, allotted him, whatever two minutes. And he is promising he will either find a way out, or find a way for me to get in so that we can be together. And then I woke up (there was a lot more before this part but I can't remember it). And the thing that is driving me over the edge is that whenever I start thinking of this dream (and it pops into my head frequently) my arms feel empty (like I should be hugging something) and my heart feels like its breaking, which is stupid because ITS JUST A DREAM! And heck, I don't even know the dudes name (but more importantly, its just a dream!)

Oh, and the dream took place in a crowded room with grey chairs (sort of like the chairs at my church, office waiting chairs without arm rests). And I was sitting in one isle, and he was sitting in the other, and then we were suddenly behind the sections of seats I was sitting in hugging. But it is a really annoying thing to keep remembering it, and feeling like I still should be hugging him. Grrrrr.

Well anyway it's sorta late, and I'm sorta really really really really really really tired. So ya. Night!

Aurum.

Ups downs and hangnails.

Ello wonderful people out there. I haven't updated in a while, so I'm popping in a post. So lets see, since I last posted I've finished the school play (it was a blast, I did nothing, but sit there and watch the play every night!), I've started and finished a gingerbread house for foods class (and hated it and loved it at different times), went swimming, started some new thing in my math class, and did absolutely nothing. Yes I have no life.

On the bright side its my dads 42nd birthday today. I got him a wallet as his old one was falling apart. He got himself Guitar Hero. It's actually quite fun.

And boy do I get side tracked easily. I start out writing this out, and I end up on Facebook sending a message to someone that I haven't talked to in years, and it took ten minutes to write out one sentence. I let my mind wander to much. And I ramble on to much. I guess its just cause I don't want to type out what I actually want to type out. There's just something about putting down what your thinking that makes it real, and then posting it for anyone to see. I know most people probably don't know me, its just those that actually know me that I'm worried about.

(Distracted again)

Maybe I just won't type it out. Thoughts are supposed to be private right? Besides who knows who reads these besides the two wonderful people who post comments. I don't really need to have the whole world inside my upside down and twisted mind.

I wonder how many people are brimming with curiosity of what I'm talking about now? Ohs well *shrugs*.

I'm writing a book series right now. Its a little different then my normal stories. (If you can call them normal). There's no mythical creatures, no demons, no scary bogymen. Just a girl, and a mirror, and the two people she meets on the other side of the mirror. Its different, for me anyway. Its probably a lot like other books out there though.

Alright, enough with the pity party. I'll come back and post later, hopefully with a post that makes more sense then this jumble that I've posted.

Nighty-night wonderful people.

Aurum.

Hmmmmmm

I'm bored. Stuck in math class with nothing to do. Done my work, have nothing to catch up on, and no way I can sleep. Not that any of that really matters.

Last night was the preview performance of the school play 'The Curious Savage' tonight is the offical opening night. Last night was fun. It went down with only a few mishaps. A phone for example. In one scene the phone rings, Dr. Emmett rushes to get it and he answerd 'Hello... (bla bla bla)' and the phone rang again, while he was holding it. It's moments like that that I absolutly LOVE being backstage, because you can laugh and not get in trouble for breaking character. I have no character to break. We also have our own little version of Ponoccio in our play. It's one of the characters son John Tomas is a doll throught the whole play, but at the end when you get to see the characters as how they see themselves and their lives, he's a real boy! So backstage had lots of jokes about Ponoccio, and because the doll is creepy people would make fun of it as well. The boy playing the live John Tomas is quite cute (for a little 8 year old playing a 5 year old).

So why am I filling this blog with pointless rambles about nothing important? I don't know. I felt like it. I tend to fill in silences and blanks with pointless rambles. I annoy the heck out of people doing it too. I just can't help it, I don't think about it, the bluttering just come out without my thinking about it.

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Oh chaple yesterday was intriging. It was an hour long! Normally that would be cause for groaning and complaining. But it wasn't. The speaker was really good. He was talking about a whole bunch of things, and I won't try to copy it. But he spoke about us being salt and light (it's like GC all over again), and how we don't yell at meat going bad, so we can't blame society for going wrong when we are doing nothing to perserve it.

He was also talking about self harm and such. Apparently 1 in 6 teens have a problem with self harm, depression, sucied and such. I hang out in a group of six girls so that could be one of us. As well he said that by the time were his age (he's 36) 1 in 3 girls will have been assulted. That's another possible two in our group. Now assuming that the one with problems of self harm is not one of the two who are assulted that's 50% of my group! That struck all of us hard.

Well the bell is going to ring soon. LUNCH!!!!!

Type to ya later.

Aurum.

Nerves, jitters, and just plain being tired.

What a wonderful couple of weeks I've been having. Well, week anyway. I've gotten full into the swing of helping out backstage. The teacher in charge of the backstage broke her ankle so she can't do as much as she usually does, and no one else signed up to work backstage this year, so I have a lot more responsibility backstage then I had the last two years. But, thankfully, there is a lot less to do on the whole this year. Just really set the stage once. With a couch, a love seat, three chairs, an art easel, books into a shelf, and such. The rest is making sure people don't run off with the props, occasionally going on between scenes to clear everything up. But I don't think I really have to do that, I'm not sure. I also get the fun job of chasing people down. Honestly I think I'm to lose wait working backstage this year. It's going to be fun.

Now that has been one of the highlights of me week. Youth; which is usually one of the things I look forward to each week; was a low light. I was in a sour mood almost the whole time, and really was just hating it. Now to just say it was a mood swing, or that I was just tired would be a full out and out lie. I was sour because of very stupid and selfish reasons. They started of the night officially by people who were on the LA missions trip coming up and talking about it. I had really wanted to go on that trip, and my mom said no and was a major roadblock so I couldn't go, and I didn't really want to listen to how much fun they had. Also with it came testimonies. I really really dislike listening to testimonies. Again because of DCS. And while they were talking they would bring up something that would click with another member of the group who went to LA and they would all be going 'oh ya, I remember that' which led the the sour that "The trip down memory lane is only for those who made the path to begin with." I was very sour and it was my own fault I know.

What else? I've been really spiritually blah this week. I finished the book of Psalms last week, and then had to decide 'What do I read next. Isiah or Jeremiah?' I picked Isiah because it was before Jeremiah so that when I finish Isiah I can go right into Jeremiah, but I haven't been reading it much. I think I'm still on the second or third chapter. There is sixty some chapters in that book and some of them aren't toothpick sized chapters either!

I just got back from this weeks small groups (finally! I've been waiting for forever; six weeks really; for it to start up again). We were talking about... about... darn I can't remember the exact word but it was basically about how to keep us from being the person whose marriage is falling apart, or being the girl who sleeps with the boys, we have to get ride of the things that separate us from God. Even the really really small things that don't seem important. If God tells us to do some thing, or get rid of something we have to. It was basically about being faithful in the little things so that God can give you bigger things. And then me, being the ever so curious big questioning mouth I am, started asking a million and five questions. First about speaking in tongues, and then onto other things that is going to sound really really really weird when I type them out, which I am going to do so be prepared for the weird. Or at least my definition of weird.

See with me I get feelings. Like something is going to happen and whatnot. I'm not spykik(sp?) because A) I can't actually tell you what exactly is going to happen, just that something is going to happen. B) I'm not getting these feelings from the dead. and C) I don't believe spykik's(sp?) really work. So anyway, for the longest time now I have had the feeling that something is going to happen. And not just anything, something big. The oddest thing is that I feel like I'm going to play some important role in it. And because of this I always feel like there's a huge war in my mind. As if Satan and God have picked my mind to be their battle ground. To me that sounds really vain though, "Oh, something big is going to happen and God is going to use me in a very important way." To me that just sounds vain. And anyway how do I know God is actually going to use me in this big way or if its just my mind manipulating this feeling of something is going to happen and twisting it to say 'your going to be a huge part of it.' I guess I could argue to that thought that I wouldn't willingly of my own earthly desire play a major part of anything. I'm backstage crew, not the star of the show. Even when auditioning I try out for the smaller parts. The reasons I feel like something is coming, comes from a lot of things.
These things I call Puzzle Peaces because its like one big puzzle to me. It's as if I'm starring at a 1000 peace puzzle that has no edge or corner peaces, and all the peaces are black, and you don't know if it's don't correctly until you have all the peaces and then the puzzle turns to colour.

These wonderful peaces are, the story of Samuel, which will lead me to something else, that I'll get to later. This story just kept popping up in my mind, over and over and over again and I didn't know which story it was, so I actually had to ask my small group what story it was. The next was also something that popped up in my head was Timothy. I should read Timothy, so I did, mainly because at the time I was bored and had nothing else to do. I read it and I came about the verse in 1 Timothy 4:12 which says 'Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.' Now these two peaces don't say that something is coming. These two almost seems to say, 'your going to play a big part in it.' The last peace is two peaces really that came glued together. It's a story and a dream. In the dream I'm in church, all the chairs are facing forward, not in our Church's somewhat straight semi-circle, everyone was talking (because I go to a social church) but everyone was sitting, except me. I was either in a bunch of chairs, or I was in one of the rows. But I was standing with one story of the Bible running through my head, and the thought of 'somethings coming'. A few other things I noticed was that the legs of the chairs did not look thick enough to support that people, but they did, and that although there is no windows near where I was, and the walls and ceiling were up, it was as bright as if the sun was shining in the room. The story that went with this dream is the story of Jehoshaphat. How he and his army had to defend Israel (or where they attacking?) and on his way out to battle he sent out singers and dancers to praise God ahead of his army and when they arrived at where the battle was to take place, the enemy had already been defeated.

Now the thing about Samuel, was that all day today I kept hearing someone calling my name. I really thought nothing of it. I would turn whenever I heard my name, and see no one, and thought 'huh, hearing things.' It wasn't until I was at my small group and telling them about this did I think of Samuel, and after I thought of it, a friend of mine actually said, "Doesn't it remind you of Samuel."

Wow this is getting to be very long. I won't keep you reading too much longer I promise.

The only thing that I'm trying not to let erke me is that I don't know what is coming, when it's coming, and what part I really have in it. My friend; the one mentioned above; said 'it was like the Eternity play you don't know what part you get until a couple days before hand.' To me its like a math equation. A+B=C. With the Eternity play A=What, the play. B=auditioning. C=what part your going to play, actually cast with lines, or angel. With this its more of A=Something is coming, but I don't know what. B=I don't know know when. C=I don't know what part I'm going to play. So I'm really dealing with D+P=Z for all that I know. Now I know that God will reveal His plan in His own timing and that I should be patient and all, but it is almost unnerving know that something is coming, but not know what, when, or how it will happen. But for the moment I'll let God know all of this. I'm sure that if I really know what was going on I wouldn't want to because it would either be A) really horrible. or B) ruin the surprise now that I know.

Nighty night all. I have a full day of school tomorrow. (Well not school. Play rehearsal at school on the first day that it is sunny and warm at the same time. God please help me with this really big little thing.)

Night people.

Aurum.